I've been to Paris

I've been in France for about a week and a half now and I'm very sorry I haven't updated here. For those of you who don't know here's the skinny; I'm living in France for 18 months working as an au pair in a small town called Parmain that is about an hour long train ride outside Paris. I love Parmain, it's incredibly beautiful and I love the family I work for. The three little girls I help take care of are very sweet and they actually like me which makes it a lot easier to like them. Their mom Sophie is a stay at home mom and she is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm happy to call her my first friend in France. I get one day off a week and I chose Sundays so that I can go into Paris for church, so yesterday that was my plan. First church, then explore, then meet up with a friend in a town called Massy. Turns out however, I'm not that good at planning. I slept through my alarm and so missed the early train that was going to give me time to get lost looking for the church. I got to Paris in time for the 10:30 service, but the "getting lost" part of the plan was  about the only part I stuck to. I met a very nice elderly Perisian couple who were on their way to their own church service; they walked me part of the way and then pointed me in the right direction. But I managed to get lost again and eventually I realized that I'd missed pretty much the whole service anyway so there was little point searching further. Next week I'm going to get better directions. But I walked by the Seine for a little while before crossing and walking under the Eiffel Tower. It was a little sureal to actually be there.

There's a beautiful carousel nearby. 

I wandered a little in the 7th arrondismont  before getting hungry. For lunch I bought an apple from a market and a baguette from a boucherie (bakery) and found a quiet park where I could eat and write post cards. 

The baguette was warm and crunchy, the apple was crisp and the lunch was perfect. I wandered some more, exploring the streets of Paris. I think I was near Montmartre but I'm not entirely sure. I stopped at a cafe for a cafe au lait and it was amazing! There is nothing better than a cup of hot coffee when you are absolutely frozen 'cause it turns out that Paris is very cold. 

It also turns out that Elsa and I are actually meeting in Massy next week not this one. I didn't remember that until I got home, exhausted, having wasted about 2 hours between the train ride to Massy the waiting at the meeting place and then the train ride back. Fortunately I had a day pass for the train so it wasn't a waste of money which is a relief 'cause I kind of ran out. Only because I didn't take much with me though, which is good. Plus it made me feel very un-touristy. Wandering the streets of Paris, looking longingly in the windows of cafes and restaurants where I can't afford to eat and then getting on a train - utterly exhausted, and going home. Cold, hungry, tired. And absolutely happy. Because I've been to Paris. 

Making my own way.

I am currently sitting in the Sacramento airport and I'm blogging from my itouch! It's brand new and absolutely beautiful =). And yes airport. But no, I'm not going to Paris yet. I'm heading North to Seattle for a few days to visit my grandmother, my aunt and uncle and my brother and his wife. I'm quite excited.

And speaking of Paris, it's all planned and ready, and also very exciting. We bought my ticket yesterday. I fly out on Monday the 9th and I have an eleven hour layover in New York on the 10th which insidently is my birthday! So I'm hoping to have breakfast at Tiffany's on my 19th birthday. After my awesome layover I head across the Atlantic and land in Paris at eleven on the morning of the 11th. 

The days leading up to my flight are packed, first with this Seattle trip and then with goodbyes. I get home Saturday evening and am hopefully going to be able to see one of my dear friends from One Way Productions. Then Sunday morning at church our rector is going to "commission" me, which basically means bless me for my trip and my time away from my church home. That afternoon I have coffee with Christina my wonderful youth leader from high school and that night I go out with Sam, Julia and Mattias. Monday morning mum and I are going to SanFrancisco to pick up my visa and then Monday night I fly out. I've got a full week ahead of me. But I'm looking forward to it, I enjoy being busy and having a packed schedule forces me to pay attention to time and make sure that I'm ready for everything, so really this is a very good thing and it means I'm much more likely to be well prepared. 

Yesterday we bought my one way ticket to Paris it finally started; the fear - the absolute terror. The questioning myself. The "what the hell can I possibly be thinking?" I love my life, my job, my friends and not least of all I love my family. Why, why am I leaving it all? But then I got an email. For sometime now I've been reading and commenting on a blog called "Frassy". It's run by a woman named Audrey who lives in Paris. I recently wrote to her telling her that I am coming to Paris and yesterday she wrote back. She was kind and encouraging and invited me to meet for coffee sometime, and most importantly she remindid me - without trying - of why I'm going to Paris. I'm going to learn, to grow, to see the world and maybe, just maybe, become the woman I want to be. I could become her here in California but somehow I feel like it will be easier in Paris. Surrounded by all that art and culture and history, not to mention the fact that I will be forced to make my own way. I've never had to make my own way and I know that it will be good for me. Scary, yes; but good for me.