So much has happened since I last posted and as always I am sorry. But as mentioned before, posting from my ipod is super clunky and irritating so I’ve been completely unmotivated to write. I am now using a borrowed macbook and I have no idea how to handle it. I’ve never used a mac before in my life, not to mention the fact that I haven't typed on a real keyboard in almost three months so I’m totally out of practice. I’m actually totally out of practice when it comes to writing period. I’ve had a notebook that I am constantly scribbling in, of course but its totally different writing in a notebook with, you know, a PEN and typing on a computer. And I must say, much as I am a fan of the old school (as my record player will attest) I really prefer a computer! The words seem to flow a lot easier for me when all I have to do is type. When I write by hand I get totally ahead of myself, I get impatient with writing out the whole of every letter and the whole of every word and suddenly find that my spelling, handwriting and grammar have filled pages and pages with completely unreadable who-knows-what. And than I have to go back and try to decipher it all and it’s very irritating. Long story short, when I get home I’m going to buy a laptop.
…any way…
My life has changed drastically since I last posted. I mentioned that I would be jointing YWAM in Southern France? Well that happened and I have never been happier in my life. If you google "Bridges of Life St. Hippolyte du Fort" you'll come up with the (newly refurbished and awesome) website for the program I'm working/living with and for. I am what is referred to as a "mission builder" meaning I haven't done the whole Discipleship Training Seminar that most YWAMers do so I'm not regular staff, but I'm also not on one of the "teams" that are here as part of the above mentioned DTS. I'm volunteering, and generally helping here at the base. I pretty much just do laundry and make beds; there are a lot of sheets involved in my life. But I love it, I really do. I love living here in community with these amazing people. It seems impossible that I've been here less than a month, it feels as if I've been here and known them for years. The leaders of the program are named Dudley and Janet Wiener and the rest of the staff include their assistant Tatem; Beth who's in charge of the kitchen and is a truly amazing chef; Dave our worship leader; Justin, in charge of yard/garden/general maintenance; Kiko, Anne and their adorable baby son; and some new staff are coming most of whom will be here soon.
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| Staff + some guests |
One guy, Matt got here last night. I have no idea what his role is gonna be, other than the fact that I plan to knock on his door pretty much every morning and beg for coffee. He's a total coffee snob and this morning - after unpacking his incredible selection of coffee making paraphernalia - he made coffee for me a Tatem and for the first time in my life I found myself truly loving a cup of black coffee. (Mum stop reading here if you want to continue being proud of my new found love) It was a light craft roast thing with "hints of honey, clove and orange marmalade" and it was a truly great experience. He's the level of coffee snob that requires that you pour 200 degree water, clockwise in concentric circles over the grounds so that you get "even extraction" and the full taste of the grounds. It was intense just watching. But he's somehow very chill about it and was happy to explain each and every step of the way so I got a very cool lesson on how to make coffee snob coffee.
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| an alleyway in St. Hippolyte du Fort |
This town is so beautiful! And the chateau that Bridges of Life is based in and where we all live is absolutley stunning. I would love to share a picture of the outside, but I've been unable to get an even acceptable picture of it. It's too big and too beautiful to capture. The inside however I take pictures of all the time. They still don't capture how incredible it is, but they can give you a taste at least. At some point in the 400 years of history that this chateau has seen it was divided into apartments and has staid that way. I live in an apartment with eight other people, six of whom are girls all of whom I share a room with. It's a little intense, but they are great girls so it's all good.
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| the living room in our shared apartment |
I'm sitting in one of those armchairs right now with earbuds in listening to Mumford and Sons as I write and on the couch where I was sitting when I took this picture, Andrew, Chelsea and Aliia - three of my apartment-mates are huddled together munching candy and watching Taken...with all the lights off. I'm very glad of my earbuds, having never had much interest in terrifying myself with that particular piece of cinematic history.
I find myself surprisingly willing to sacrifice things I thought that I needed. Having my own room has seemed so important for so long, and I'm sure that I'll appreciate it when I go home again, but I find myself treasuring the community here. Last night in the middle of one of the minor meltdowns that are part of life, as I was sitting in my surprisingly empty room I suddenly found that I didn't want to be alone. So I got up and went to the staff apartment and ended up sobbing out my issues to Tatem, Beth and Justin. They were understanding, supportive and so comforting, it was amazing. I've always been the kind of person who holes up when I'm feeling emotional. I smile, say I'm fine and just cry into my pillow. But last night I didn't want to be alone, and what's more I knew that I didn't have to be. These last few weeks have built in me the courage to show my "weakness". To get up and go to others. To go find the shoulder that I want to cry on.
We have worship every morning Monday through Friday and every morning Monday through Friday since my arrival here I have cried, and every morning Monday through Friday I have been surrounded by people who don't ask if I need a shoulder to cry on; they have simply hugged me, prayed for me and showed me the love of God through their often simple and always meaningful actions. I have not yet been here a month but I feel as if I have learned more in this one month than ever before in my life. It's been a time of such intense learning, growing and shifting that I know when I go home I will be barely recognizable, and I am glad of that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose who I am, but I want to grow; I want to change; I want to become the woman that God has created me to be. It's been years since there's been any real spiritual fruit in my life, but this last month has been crazy. It's made me think of the wisteria in the front yard at home. For ten years it grew and was healthy but it never blossomed. And then one year it went crazy. The most beautiful, fragrant purple flowers dripped from every branch and the smell was so strong that even in the dark you knew it was there.
Turns out it just needed time to grow and mature before it was ready to blossom.
It has bloomed prolifically every Summer since then, and every year you know that those blossoms have come, even in the dark when you can't see them, because of that heavenly smell that fills the air. I hope and pray and trust that everything that God is doing in my heart and life right now will be similar and that even in the "dark" it will make it's presence known.
So, very long story very short: life is good, God is great and this community is utterly amazing. I will be forever grateful that God brought me to this place and these people.
I find myself surprisingly willing to sacrifice things I thought that I needed. Having my own room has seemed so important for so long, and I'm sure that I'll appreciate it when I go home again, but I find myself treasuring the community here. Last night in the middle of one of the minor meltdowns that are part of life, as I was sitting in my surprisingly empty room I suddenly found that I didn't want to be alone. So I got up and went to the staff apartment and ended up sobbing out my issues to Tatem, Beth and Justin. They were understanding, supportive and so comforting, it was amazing. I've always been the kind of person who holes up when I'm feeling emotional. I smile, say I'm fine and just cry into my pillow. But last night I didn't want to be alone, and what's more I knew that I didn't have to be. These last few weeks have built in me the courage to show my "weakness". To get up and go to others. To go find the shoulder that I want to cry on.
We have worship every morning Monday through Friday and every morning Monday through Friday since my arrival here I have cried, and every morning Monday through Friday I have been surrounded by people who don't ask if I need a shoulder to cry on; they have simply hugged me, prayed for me and showed me the love of God through their often simple and always meaningful actions. I have not yet been here a month but I feel as if I have learned more in this one month than ever before in my life. It's been a time of such intense learning, growing and shifting that I know when I go home I will be barely recognizable, and I am glad of that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose who I am, but I want to grow; I want to change; I want to become the woman that God has created me to be. It's been years since there's been any real spiritual fruit in my life, but this last month has been crazy. It's made me think of the wisteria in the front yard at home. For ten years it grew and was healthy but it never blossomed. And then one year it went crazy. The most beautiful, fragrant purple flowers dripped from every branch and the smell was so strong that even in the dark you knew it was there.
Turns out it just needed time to grow and mature before it was ready to blossom.
It has bloomed prolifically every Summer since then, and every year you know that those blossoms have come, even in the dark when you can't see them, because of that heavenly smell that fills the air. I hope and pray and trust that everything that God is doing in my heart and life right now will be similar and that even in the "dark" it will make it's presence known.
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| a similar wisteria growing here in St. Hippo |
More soon, I promise.
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