Changing of the guard

So today I discovered Wordpress and I must say; its much more mobile friendly! So sad as I am to say goodbye to my lovely Red Shoes and Peacock Feathers, I think that the time has come. Come visit me at Wordpress at Burgeoning Bohemian.

#Unexpected

As usual I haven't updated in ages. Maybe one day, when I have my own laptop I'll actually update on a regular basis. For now, oh well! I'll update when I can.

That said, since my last update many things have happened. Beds have been made, beds have been stripped; laundry has been washed, dried and folded; unbelievable amounts of food have been purchased on a regular basis. I spent a day in Alès with Mimi, shopping and eating a delicious lunch.

I started running (read: speed walking/sprinting) and doing yoga on a regular basis.



There is a river running through town and a lovely paved promenade along it that is just the right length for someone who's just getting back to exercising, and it dead-ends at a bench with a nice wide space, beside a small waterfall. Just the right place to do yoga in the early morning.





I discovered some really fabulous graffiti on my running rout







Beth (Kitchen Manager) had a birthday and we celebrated with strawberry cake and champagne



I moved rooms again, and got three new room mates: Annie, Katie and Molly. Molly is only here until Friday, but I'll be sharing with Annie and Katie for the rest of my time here. I think. Annie arrived Thursday and Katie got here Saturday evening. On Saturday morning Mimi, Annie and I walked to Super U and Dia - the local grocery stores. We were originally planing pick up some snacks and Mimi just came for the sake of the walk. But while in Dia we discovered that they had créme de cassis and créme de pêche (berry and peach flavoured liquors, respectively) so we got a bottle of each and a couple bottles of perrier, and some cheese and on the way home picked up a couple baguettes at the local boulangerie and that evening after dinner we had a little party of our own upstairs.



We chatted for a while and sampled the different liquors, finding just the right ratio of liquor to perrier before watching "The Man Who Knew Too Little" with Bill Murray. If you ever want a wonderfully funny movie that will have you in absolute fits of laughter all the way through, watch "The Man Who Knew Too Little". The character thinks that he's spending an evening participating in an interactive TV show, when in fact he's involved in a rather complex plot intended to reignite the Cold War. It's absolutely brilliant.

But the big news - the really Big News - is this:





I got my hair cut!



It's so short now, and I love it so much. I've never been one to take, or post lots of selfies, but I can't resist these days (ok, I could. But I don't want to.)

It's such fun, and so much easier to deal with. Not to mention cooler on my neck! Annie cut it. She's been a hair dresser for nine years and she's pretty much the first hair dresser to cut my hair super short in such a way that I absolutely whole heartedly love it. In the past it's been longer in the back, and it looked really quite awful, but she cut it shorter in the back and longer in the front and it's perfect. Cool and easy, but still surprisingly versatile.

On a more introspective note: Having had seven room mates in the room I was in before taught me so much about myself! As has moving to a room with just three other girls. I love sharing with three, but with seven I almost went crazy. The worst part was that I really loved all the girls I was rooming with; but my introverted little self got so over stimulated on such a regular basis, that given half a chance all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, plug in my earbuds and escape into my own little world; because it was the only way I could hope to have any personal space. Plus, the seven girls I shared with were all on a team together. they had gone to DTS together for months before coming here, and they were all working on things together, and having team meetings and such. It was pretty lonely being the only non-team member. Of the girls I'm sharing with now one is a guest (leaving Friday) and the other two are mission builders, just like me. Katie was here for a little while a year ago, so she knows a couple of the staff here but isn't super close with anyone and although Annie met two of our staff while they were on a short term relief mission to Nepal (pray for Nepal!) she also isn't close with anyone. So there are no other relationships already in place for them to be busy with. I know that sounds horribly selfish of me - and maybe it is, but it's nice to just be friends with people without the drama or politics of anyone having to balance relationships. We're all room mates together, so we're all friends together. Why not? How else would it be? I'll be honest, it's very restful. It's a lot of fun to have people to drink créme de pêche with while watching a funny movie. It's especially nice to all fit on the couch and not have to worry about how everyone would be able to see. I like groups and big parties, I do. But I need down time between times to recharge. Living with big groups? That's very hard for me. And that's a good thing to know about myself.

A watercolour story

Guys, I got 184 page views today. And 170 of those were before like 8:00 am back home. Who is reading my blog all of a sudden?! And why aren't you commenting? Please! Comment! And know this; I love you! Whoever you are, I love you! Come back as often as you can, I beg. You've made me very, very happy.

Anyways...Story time!

Not this last week, but the week before we had a team from Denver staying at the base for a week. One of the girls was named Kai and we became really good friends. The team left very early Friday morning, and Thursday night Kai and I prayed together and she told me that she felt very strongly that through my art I would find favour in God's eyes and that He would bless it. I believed her, I did. But you know how it is; you believe theoretically but you don't really think it'll happen any time soon.

Friday mornings there is a market in the town square and we have worship in the Catholic church with the doors wide open inviting passers-by to come in and join us. As usual it was amazing and on my way home I sat down on someone's doorstep to sketch the alleyway. As I sat sketching a woman stopped to watch me work. After a few minutes she struck up a conversation with me in perfect English. Her name was Sabine and eventually she told me that she liked my sketch so much that she would like it if I would do a watercolour of her house.

The picture I sketched from

Of course I said yes - enthusiastically. That evening everyone else went out to an event, but I staid home. I turned on my music, the stuff I know every word to without even having to think - Ed Sheeran, The Airborn Toxic Event, One Republic, American Authors, Train. I cranked the volume, and started sketching.

By the time I was done I had been there for roughly five hours and I'd been singing at the top of my lungs the whole time. My voice was so warmed up that I could follow every note as I sang along to Train. It was amazing, and I had a sketch that I liked...but forgot to take a picture of.

Artist selfie

There was no sun from Saturday until Monday, so I got up at 6:30 on Tuesday and sat outside of Sabine's house for an hour-and-a-half; earbuds in, painting. At around 7:30 an adorable old woman opened her shutters and came out to see my painting. She didn't speak English but she liked the painting, and admiration is not only highly flattering, but also easily communicated despite the language barrier.

First day of painting

The next morning I was way too tired to get up early again, so it wasn't until Thursday that I finished the painting.

The finished product

It's not a very good picture, but it's the best I've got. I still have to call Sabine and let her know I have the painting ready for her. Funny story: I walked right up to a lady in the market "Sabine?" yeah...not Sabine. So there is an elderly French lady somewhere around here who thinks I'm just another stupid American. Oh well.

Life lately and musings on wisteria

So much has happened since I last posted and as always I am sorry. But as mentioned before, posting from my ipod is super clunky and irritating so I’ve been completely unmotivated to write. I am now using a borrowed macbook and I have no idea how to handle it. I’ve never used a mac before in my life, not to mention the fact that I haven't typed on a real keyboard in almost three months so I’m totally out of practice. I’m actually totally out of practice when it comes to writing period. I’ve had a notebook that I am constantly scribbling in, of course but its totally different writing in a notebook with, you know, a PEN and typing on a computer. And I must say, much as I am a fan of the old school (as my record player will attest) I really prefer a computer! The words seem to flow a lot easier for me when all I have to do is type. When I write by hand I get totally ahead of myself, I get impatient with writing out the whole of every letter and the whole of every word and suddenly find that my spelling, handwriting and grammar have filled pages and pages with completely unreadable who-knows-what. And than I have to go back and try to decipher it all and it’s very irritating. Long story short, when I get home I’m going to buy a laptop.

…any way…

My life has changed drastically since I last posted. I mentioned that I would be jointing YWAM in Southern France? Well that happened and I have never been happier in my life. If you google "Bridges of Life St. Hippolyte du Fort" you'll come up with the (newly refurbished and awesome) website for the program I'm working/living with and for. I am what is referred to as a "mission builder" meaning I haven't done the whole Discipleship Training Seminar that most YWAMers do so I'm not regular staff, but I'm also not on one of the "teams" that are here as part of the above mentioned DTS. I'm volunteering, and generally helping here at the base. I pretty much just do laundry and make beds; there are a lot of sheets involved in my life. But I love it, I really do. I love living here in community with these amazing people. It seems impossible that I've been here less than a month, it feels as if I've been here and known them for years. The leaders of the program are named Dudley and Janet Wiener and the rest of the staff include their assistant Tatem; Beth who's in charge of the kitchen and is a truly amazing chef; Dave our worship leader; Justin, in charge of yard/garden/general maintenance; Kiko, Anne and their adorable baby son; and some new staff are coming most of whom will be here soon.

Staff + some guests

One guy, Matt got here last night. I have no idea what his role is gonna be, other than the fact that I plan to knock on his door pretty much every morning and beg for coffee. He's a total coffee snob and this morning - after unpacking his incredible selection of coffee making paraphernalia - he made coffee for me a Tatem and for the first time in my life I found myself truly loving a cup of black coffee. (Mum stop reading here if you want to continue being proud of my new found love) It was a light craft roast thing with "hints of honey, clove and orange marmalade" and it was a truly great experience. He's the level of coffee snob that requires that you pour 200 degree water, clockwise in concentric circles over the grounds so that you get "even extraction" and the full taste of the grounds. It was intense just watching. But he's somehow very chill about it and was happy to explain each and every step of the way so I got a very cool lesson on how to make coffee snob coffee.

an alleyway in St. Hippolyte du Fort

This town is so beautiful! And the chateau that Bridges of Life is based in and where we all live is absolutley stunning. I would love to share a picture of the outside, but I've been unable to get an even acceptable picture of it. It's too big and too beautiful to capture. The inside however I take pictures of all the time. They still don't capture how incredible it is, but they can give you a taste at least. At some point in the 400 years of history that this chateau has seen it was divided into apartments and has staid that way. I live in an apartment with eight other people, six of whom are girls all of whom I share a room with. It's a little intense, but they are great girls so it's all good. 

the living room in our shared apartment

I'm sitting in one of those armchairs right now with earbuds in listening to Mumford and Sons as I write and on the couch where I was sitting when I took this picture, Andrew, Chelsea and Aliia - three of my apartment-mates are huddled together munching candy and watching Taken...with all the lights off. I'm very glad of my earbuds, having never had much interest in terrifying myself with that particular piece of cinematic history. 

I find myself surprisingly willing to sacrifice things I thought that I needed. Having my own room has seemed so important for so long, and I'm sure that I'll appreciate it when I go home again, but I find myself treasuring the community here. Last night in the middle of one of the minor meltdowns that are part of life, as I was sitting in my surprisingly empty room I suddenly found that I didn't want to be alone. So I got up and went to the staff apartment and ended up sobbing out my issues to Tatem, Beth and Justin. They were understanding, supportive and so comforting, it was amazing. I've always been the kind of person who holes up when I'm feeling emotional. I smile, say I'm fine and just cry into my pillow. But last night I didn't want to be alone, and what's more I knew that I didn't have to be. These last few weeks have built in me the courage to show my "weakness". To get up and go to others. To go find the shoulder that I want to cry on. 

We have worship every morning Monday through Friday and every morning Monday through Friday since my arrival here I have cried, and every morning Monday through Friday I have been surrounded by people who don't ask if I need a shoulder to cry on; they have simply hugged me, prayed for me and showed me the love of God through their often simple and always meaningful actions. I have not yet been here  a month but I feel as if I have learned more in this one month than ever before in my life. It's been a time of such intense learning, growing and shifting that I know when I go home I will be barely recognizable, and I am glad of that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose who I am, but I want to grow; I want to change; I want to become the woman that God has created me to be. It's been years since there's been any real spiritual fruit in my life, but this last month has been crazy. It's made me think of the wisteria in the front yard at home. For ten years it grew and was healthy but it never blossomed. And then one year it went crazy. The most beautiful, fragrant purple flowers dripped from every branch and the smell was so strong that even in the dark you knew it was there. 

Turns out it just needed time to grow and mature before it was ready to blossom.

It has bloomed prolifically every Summer since then, and every year you know that those blossoms have come, even in the dark when you can't see them, because of that heavenly smell that fills the air. I hope and pray and trust that everything that God is doing in my heart and life right now will be similar and that even in the "dark" it will make it's presence known. 

a similar wisteria growing here in St. Hippo

So, very long story very short: life is good, God is great and this community is utterly amazing. I will be forever grateful that God brought me to this place and these people.

More soon, I promise.

C

Reassessing my packing decisions

What I "need" before and after. Proud of myself! Now I just have to find a place to store this monstrous bag of "I don't really need this" for the next few months. Susan named my suitcase Brutus and for what ever reason the name is perfect. Maybe 'cause I thought he was my friend but now I can't take him anywhere 'cause I feel like he'll kill me!

The latest news

It's been ages and I'm so sorry! Blogging from an iTouch is a bit of a hassle (forgive any layout issues. Same exuse) so much has happened though I thought it about time I updated you all. A few trips into Paris have happened, not many because of the cost of the train ticket.

Notre Dame

Pont des Arts

The stalls by the Siene 

Sunshine on a Parisian building

Delicious temptations 

I planned to go more often in April, May and June because with French class two days a week I was gonna buy a train pass. 

We went to Disney Land Paris once.

And I visited the Luxembourg Gardens.

Sailboats on the fountain

Coffee ice cream from a street vendor 

Wodehouse in the sunshine

I enjoyed creeping a little and taking pictures of strangers. It's called street photography, gosh!

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon so I was far from alone. 

I saw the Eiffel Tower all lit up. It was beutiful. 

Spring started making herself known, a little bit at a time.

But all this time I was a little unhappy. Not hugely, dramatically miserable. Just a little unhappy. Until this last Wednesday afternoon. The Schmitzbergers and I talked and agreed that it wasn't really working out. I know it sounds sudden, but it's really not. It was a gradual realization, but by bit. The sudden thing was the fact that they are going on a trip soon so needed me to leave as soon as possible. I had about a half hour of panic before one of my mom's blogging friends Susan swept in like an angel and offered me a place to stay for a few days. Long enough at least to figure out my next step. So yesterday I said goodbye, first to Parmain

Last view of Parmain

And then to Paris

Last view of Paris. But don't worry. I'll come back one day. 

And hopped on a train and headed North to Munich. 

The window in Susan's guest room 

I've spent a lot of today planning my next destination and thanks to friends of friends I have found an opportunity with YWAM in Southern France that I am very excited about. I promise I'll write more, now that I'm not gonna be working as much. 

A lot of people have contacted me in response to my Facebook update wanting to commiserate with me about how hard this must be; but the truth is I'm a lot happier than I was. I got on the train to Munich and I just couldn't stop smiling, and even better I couldn't stop writing. It had been so long since I'd been really inspired, but I could barely put my pen down long enough to let my hand un-cramp. It was a wonderful feeling. I had no idea where I would be going after this weekend's respite with Susan, but I wasn't scared at all. I was confident that God would guide me to just the right place and I'm pretty sure he has with this YWAM opportunity. So your prayers are greatly appreciated, but I really don't need sympathy, kind as it is. And no one need worry. In The Hiding Place one of my favorite lines is Betsy's. She said "the center of God's will is the only place we are safe. There is no 'what if' in His kingdom." I'm sure that's not a direct quote but it's the general meaning of it. And I know that obviously they were in a much more dangerous situation than I am, but the fact remains. God will guide me through my simple difficulties. I have friends and I have friends who have friends so I will not want for a couch to crash on, and if push comes to shove I can always go home. 

"...and it's goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture under the skies." - Jack Karouac On The Road

I've been to Paris

I've been in France for about a week and a half now and I'm very sorry I haven't updated here. For those of you who don't know here's the skinny; I'm living in France for 18 months working as an au pair in a small town called Parmain that is about an hour long train ride outside Paris. I love Parmain, it's incredibly beautiful and I love the family I work for. The three little girls I help take care of are very sweet and they actually like me which makes it a lot easier to like them. Their mom Sophie is a stay at home mom and she is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm happy to call her my first friend in France. I get one day off a week and I chose Sundays so that I can go into Paris for church, so yesterday that was my plan. First church, then explore, then meet up with a friend in a town called Massy. Turns out however, I'm not that good at planning. I slept through my alarm and so missed the early train that was going to give me time to get lost looking for the church. I got to Paris in time for the 10:30 service, but the "getting lost" part of the plan was  about the only part I stuck to. I met a very nice elderly Perisian couple who were on their way to their own church service; they walked me part of the way and then pointed me in the right direction. But I managed to get lost again and eventually I realized that I'd missed pretty much the whole service anyway so there was little point searching further. Next week I'm going to get better directions. But I walked by the Seine for a little while before crossing and walking under the Eiffel Tower. It was a little sureal to actually be there.

There's a beautiful carousel nearby. 

I wandered a little in the 7th arrondismont  before getting hungry. For lunch I bought an apple from a market and a baguette from a boucherie (bakery) and found a quiet park where I could eat and write post cards. 

The baguette was warm and crunchy, the apple was crisp and the lunch was perfect. I wandered some more, exploring the streets of Paris. I think I was near Montmartre but I'm not entirely sure. I stopped at a cafe for a cafe au lait and it was amazing! There is nothing better than a cup of hot coffee when you are absolutely frozen 'cause it turns out that Paris is very cold. 

It also turns out that Elsa and I are actually meeting in Massy next week not this one. I didn't remember that until I got home, exhausted, having wasted about 2 hours between the train ride to Massy the waiting at the meeting place and then the train ride back. Fortunately I had a day pass for the train so it wasn't a waste of money which is a relief 'cause I kind of ran out. Only because I didn't take much with me though, which is good. Plus it made me feel very un-touristy. Wandering the streets of Paris, looking longingly in the windows of cafes and restaurants where I can't afford to eat and then getting on a train - utterly exhausted, and going home. Cold, hungry, tired. And absolutely happy. Because I've been to Paris.