Reassessing my packing decisions

What I "need" before and after. Proud of myself! Now I just have to find a place to store this monstrous bag of "I don't really need this" for the next few months. Susan named my suitcase Brutus and for what ever reason the name is perfect. Maybe 'cause I thought he was my friend but now I can't take him anywhere 'cause I feel like he'll kill me!

The latest news

It's been ages and I'm so sorry! Blogging from an iTouch is a bit of a hassle (forgive any layout issues. Same exuse) so much has happened though I thought it about time I updated you all. A few trips into Paris have happened, not many because of the cost of the train ticket.

Notre Dame

Pont des Arts

The stalls by the Siene 

Sunshine on a Parisian building

Delicious temptations 

I planned to go more often in April, May and June because with French class two days a week I was gonna buy a train pass. 

We went to Disney Land Paris once.

And I visited the Luxembourg Gardens.

Sailboats on the fountain

Coffee ice cream from a street vendor 

Wodehouse in the sunshine

I enjoyed creeping a little and taking pictures of strangers. It's called street photography, gosh!

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon so I was far from alone. 

I saw the Eiffel Tower all lit up. It was beutiful. 

Spring started making herself known, a little bit at a time.

But all this time I was a little unhappy. Not hugely, dramatically miserable. Just a little unhappy. Until this last Wednesday afternoon. The Schmitzbergers and I talked and agreed that it wasn't really working out. I know it sounds sudden, but it's really not. It was a gradual realization, but by bit. The sudden thing was the fact that they are going on a trip soon so needed me to leave as soon as possible. I had about a half hour of panic before one of my mom's blogging friends Susan swept in like an angel and offered me a place to stay for a few days. Long enough at least to figure out my next step. So yesterday I said goodbye, first to Parmain

Last view of Parmain

And then to Paris

Last view of Paris. But don't worry. I'll come back one day. 

And hopped on a train and headed North to Munich. 

The window in Susan's guest room 

I've spent a lot of today planning my next destination and thanks to friends of friends I have found an opportunity with YWAM in Southern France that I am very excited about. I promise I'll write more, now that I'm not gonna be working as much. 

A lot of people have contacted me in response to my Facebook update wanting to commiserate with me about how hard this must be; but the truth is I'm a lot happier than I was. I got on the train to Munich and I just couldn't stop smiling, and even better I couldn't stop writing. It had been so long since I'd been really inspired, but I could barely put my pen down long enough to let my hand un-cramp. It was a wonderful feeling. I had no idea where I would be going after this weekend's respite with Susan, but I wasn't scared at all. I was confident that God would guide me to just the right place and I'm pretty sure he has with this YWAM opportunity. So your prayers are greatly appreciated, but I really don't need sympathy, kind as it is. And no one need worry. In The Hiding Place one of my favorite lines is Betsy's. She said "the center of God's will is the only place we are safe. There is no 'what if' in His kingdom." I'm sure that's not a direct quote but it's the general meaning of it. And I know that obviously they were in a much more dangerous situation than I am, but the fact remains. God will guide me through my simple difficulties. I have friends and I have friends who have friends so I will not want for a couch to crash on, and if push comes to shove I can always go home. 

"...and it's goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture under the skies." - Jack Karouac On The Road

I've been to Paris

I've been in France for about a week and a half now and I'm very sorry I haven't updated here. For those of you who don't know here's the skinny; I'm living in France for 18 months working as an au pair in a small town called Parmain that is about an hour long train ride outside Paris. I love Parmain, it's incredibly beautiful and I love the family I work for. The three little girls I help take care of are very sweet and they actually like me which makes it a lot easier to like them. Their mom Sophie is a stay at home mom and she is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm happy to call her my first friend in France. I get one day off a week and I chose Sundays so that I can go into Paris for church, so yesterday that was my plan. First church, then explore, then meet up with a friend in a town called Massy. Turns out however, I'm not that good at planning. I slept through my alarm and so missed the early train that was going to give me time to get lost looking for the church. I got to Paris in time for the 10:30 service, but the "getting lost" part of the plan was  about the only part I stuck to. I met a very nice elderly Perisian couple who were on their way to their own church service; they walked me part of the way and then pointed me in the right direction. But I managed to get lost again and eventually I realized that I'd missed pretty much the whole service anyway so there was little point searching further. Next week I'm going to get better directions. But I walked by the Seine for a little while before crossing and walking under the Eiffel Tower. It was a little sureal to actually be there.

There's a beautiful carousel nearby. 

I wandered a little in the 7th arrondismont  before getting hungry. For lunch I bought an apple from a market and a baguette from a boucherie (bakery) and found a quiet park where I could eat and write post cards. 

The baguette was warm and crunchy, the apple was crisp and the lunch was perfect. I wandered some more, exploring the streets of Paris. I think I was near Montmartre but I'm not entirely sure. I stopped at a cafe for a cafe au lait and it was amazing! There is nothing better than a cup of hot coffee when you are absolutely frozen 'cause it turns out that Paris is very cold. 

It also turns out that Elsa and I are actually meeting in Massy next week not this one. I didn't remember that until I got home, exhausted, having wasted about 2 hours between the train ride to Massy the waiting at the meeting place and then the train ride back. Fortunately I had a day pass for the train so it wasn't a waste of money which is a relief 'cause I kind of ran out. Only because I didn't take much with me though, which is good. Plus it made me feel very un-touristy. Wandering the streets of Paris, looking longingly in the windows of cafes and restaurants where I can't afford to eat and then getting on a train - utterly exhausted, and going home. Cold, hungry, tired. And absolutely happy. Because I've been to Paris. 

Making my own way.

I am currently sitting in the Sacramento airport and I'm blogging from my itouch! It's brand new and absolutely beautiful =). And yes airport. But no, I'm not going to Paris yet. I'm heading North to Seattle for a few days to visit my grandmother, my aunt and uncle and my brother and his wife. I'm quite excited.

And speaking of Paris, it's all planned and ready, and also very exciting. We bought my ticket yesterday. I fly out on Monday the 9th and I have an eleven hour layover in New York on the 10th which insidently is my birthday! So I'm hoping to have breakfast at Tiffany's on my 19th birthday. After my awesome layover I head across the Atlantic and land in Paris at eleven on the morning of the 11th. 

The days leading up to my flight are packed, first with this Seattle trip and then with goodbyes. I get home Saturday evening and am hopefully going to be able to see one of my dear friends from One Way Productions. Then Sunday morning at church our rector is going to "commission" me, which basically means bless me for my trip and my time away from my church home. That afternoon I have coffee with Christina my wonderful youth leader from high school and that night I go out with Sam, Julia and Mattias. Monday morning mum and I are going to SanFrancisco to pick up my visa and then Monday night I fly out. I've got a full week ahead of me. But I'm looking forward to it, I enjoy being busy and having a packed schedule forces me to pay attention to time and make sure that I'm ready for everything, so really this is a very good thing and it means I'm much more likely to be well prepared. 

Yesterday we bought my one way ticket to Paris it finally started; the fear - the absolute terror. The questioning myself. The "what the hell can I possibly be thinking?" I love my life, my job, my friends and not least of all I love my family. Why, why am I leaving it all? But then I got an email. For sometime now I've been reading and commenting on a blog called "Frassy". It's run by a woman named Audrey who lives in Paris. I recently wrote to her telling her that I am coming to Paris and yesterday she wrote back. She was kind and encouraging and invited me to meet for coffee sometime, and most importantly she remindid me - without trying - of why I'm going to Paris. I'm going to learn, to grow, to see the world and maybe, just maybe, become the woman I want to be. I could become her here in California but somehow I feel like it will be easier in Paris. Surrounded by all that art and culture and history, not to mention the fact that I will be forced to make my own way. I've never had to make my own way and I know that it will be good for me. Scary, yes; but good for me.

Allez

For about two months now, I've been working in a restaurant called Allez which is French for "to go" and I have absolutely loved it. The people are amazing, the food delicious and the entire environment is such a wonderful place to work and learn. Last night was my last night working there, I regularly worked with a girl named Toni and my manager Shane. Both were tons of fun to work with and unbelievably supportive of a girl who'd never worked in food service before.

Today my sister and I went to Allez for coffee and dessert and to meet Mike, the only employee I'd never worked with before.

We ordered a chocolate mousse and a chocolate ganache, both to split. Almost immediately after bringing us our desserts Mike grabbed a pack of shortbread cookies and set them on our table, telling us that they were "great with the mousse." A few minutes later he approached again asking if I'd gotten a chance to try the pot du creme, on hearing no he put one on the table. 

Madelaine and I talked about my plans and expectations for Paris, my plans for college/how to become a professional interior designer etc. but it wasn't long before he was back with a lemon tart, promising that it was the last one. We ordered coffee and kept talking. We were there for an hour and a half or longer. Madelaine got to meet my ex-coworkers and see the restaurant that I have come to love so much. We ate five deserts and drank two mini-French presses of coffee, and loved it all. It was a wonderful afternoon, and in the end we were charged for one chocolate mousse, one chocolate ganache and two coffees. Oh the benefits of working in a wonderful place, with such wonderful people. I'm gonna seriously miss Allez and everyone and everything connected with it.

I am an official Au Pair

As of friday morning I have a job in France! I will be working as an au pair to the Schmitzberger family - and incredibly enough they are in fact French, despite the German name. My main duty will be to entertain and speak English with the oldest of their three daughters, two year old Louise. I skyped with the family at 7:00 friday morning and they are absolutely adorable, I can't wait to get over there! They will be sending me the contract soon and once I have it I can apply for my visa and hopefully I will be in Paris by February! So I spent my morning drinking tea, taking notes, making lists and drawing up budget plans. 

The Schmitzbergers want me to stay with them for 18+ months so I will definitely be able to speak French by the time I come home, especially as the mother Sophie speaks very little English. I am so, so excited =).

Photo shoot tradition.

Rebekah and I have done a lot of photo shoots these past few years and early on we created a tradition. The "my date is late and I am mad" picture.

We haven't had a third party at most of our shoots so we've never gotten the chance to take one together. 'Till now that is.